“You will search the records of the District of Columbia courts in vain for a case of more egregious or willful misconduct,”

“Never before in recorded history have a group of defendants engaged in such misleading and unfair business practices.”

“I haven’t worn pants with cuffs since the 1970s,”

These classic quotes, destined to go down in history, were by Roy Pearson regarding his lawsuit against Custom Cleaners for a pair of pants he claims they lost. And for which he sued them for…. [channeling Dr. Evil] $67 million dollars!

Link to news article on ABC News.

Some more highlights…

  • Pearson, representing himself, said in opening that he wanted to examine the culture that allowed “a group of defendants to engage in bad business practices for five years.”
  • The trial proved nearly as dramatic — and unusual — as the plaintiff’s claims. On the witness stand, Pearson broke down in tears and had to take a break from his testimony because he became too emotional while questioning himself about his experience with the missing trousers.
  • Pearson counted 12 separate violations of a consumer-protection law over 1,200 days, multiplied by the three defendants. At $1,500 per day, that is $65 million.
  • He also seeks $15,000 to rent a car to take his clothes to another cleaner for the next 10 years, among other charges.
  • The ABC News Law & Justice Unit has calculated that for the original $67 million Pearson sought, he could buy 84,115 new pairs of pants at the $800 value he placed on the missing trousers in court documents. If you stacked those pants up, they would be taller than eight Mount Everests. If you laid them side by side, they would stretch for 48 miles.